if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize