Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
