my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
