Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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