wat bout pragnant strippers??
I faked an abortion last night.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
