do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
