i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
