Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
