put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize