If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
