I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
