I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
