Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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