Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
