Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
