Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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