Don't make out with my wife yet
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize