Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
