what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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