woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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