Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
