I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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