return my video game
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
