Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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