office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
