Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
