dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
