he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize