Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
