I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize