So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
