the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
