bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
