Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
