fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
