I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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