I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
