I'm really into asian looking animals
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
