Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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