it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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