That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
