theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
