I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
