Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
