Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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