i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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