i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
