How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
