I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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