either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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