She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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