dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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