But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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