So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
