mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
