I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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