Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
