I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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