Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
