I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
babies were throwing up all over the place
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
