He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
