Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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