I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
