While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
