i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
