I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
