used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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