I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
