were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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