Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
