he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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