i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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