Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
