He is an equal opportunity slut.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
