I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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