It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
