If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this will be a night to untag.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Randomize
