so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
