If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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